How To Really Screw Up Your WordPress Blog
I get a lot of requests for help with WordPress blogs that are not working properly, look terrible or worse don’t show up at all. I have seen and have had to backward engineer some really interesting things for some people. So in my typical sarcastic style here is what to do if you really want to screw up your WordPress blog.
Load up as many plugins as possible.
Yeah this is always a good thing to do, I mean grab every conceivable plugin you think is cool. Don’t know what a plugin does? No problem, just activate it, oh and don’t bother reading the instructions to see if any special code needs embedded into your theme, or if it is incompatible with other plugins or your version of WordPress. Don’t bother to see if there is menu in the dashboard to configure or use the plugin either. Just load up the plugins, active them and scratch your head when the blog doesn’t load.
Use a plugin required theme without using the required plugins.
This one is always fun, you have seen the themes with the tabs on the top sidebar or special sections on the navigation bar for Recent Post, Popular Post or Popular Comments. Well they probably require specific plugins to work because there is usually code embedded into the theme. Using a theme like this without the plugins can really screw up your blog and my cause it not to display correctly or at all. Don’t bother reading the instructions with the theme, just load er’ up and let er’ rip!
Add or paste as much crap as possible into the themes files.
Another all time favorite is seeing pop-ups, scripts, and banner ads placed all over the theme so much so that the content is blocked or worse. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that you should monetize your blog but you need to be careful loading it up with crap. I see many pop-ups that are floating off borders, or ads that are too big for the area they are in. The more scripts and HTML code you paste into the actual theme, the more chances of a tag left open and screwing up your blog. The more crap that needs to load takes more time and, sorry I don’t have time to wait for all that to load on your blog, I’ll find the information elsewhere. Then there is the fun involved troubleshooting issues when you have a full static HTML page complete with newsletter opt-in scripts, feeds from other blogs, banner ads, AdSense ads and any other piece of code you can possibly paste into your index.php file. My point here is to keep the theme files as clean as possible.
Use images, graphics and scripts that pull content from another site.
Like an image or banner ad? Don’t bother hosting it on your site, just point to it on your theme or blog and when the other site is down, hey you will just see a big open spot or worse on yours! Too lazy to post any new content on your blog? No problem, just paste a script on the index.php file that pulls feeds from other blogs or sites. When the other sites go down or your hosting account blocks the scripts, no problem you will just have a big empty space on your blog now. I know there are instances like AdSense that you can’t get around this but try to keep your blog as self-sufficient as possible.
Make sure you write your posts in MS Word or copy them from another site.
Yep just use MS Word and paste your posts directly into the visual editor. Or copy from another website and paste them directly into the visual editor. Then scratch your head when the formatting from Word or the other site completely destroys your WordPress blog. Don’t bother using the small W icon on the visual toolbar editor to paste it into. Don’t bother to paste the text into the HTML editor, and whatever you do don’t bother to see if any HTML tags are left open. No just leave that <b> HTML tag open and look at amazement while all the text under it and on the sidebar is now bold.
Make sure you change the Blog or WordPress address.
You see that setting in the general settings menu that tells you you can change the home address of the blog? Oh yeah just do that and contact me to fix it when you can’t login anymore. Same with the WordPress address, go ahead change it without reading what needs done before or after. You will be in a panic when your WordPress blog disappears. Fixing one of these is always a fun way to spend an evening!
So there you have just a few simple ways to really screw up your WordPress blog. There are many more and I am sure if you use your imagination and lack of knowledge you can find them!
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Sorry but due to the spamming of a few all comments are moderated and will appear when approved and all drive-by comments will be deleted!
Comments
I hate blogs with too many plugins. It always just looks messy.
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Very nice advice. Lots of people seem to follow it
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I did that “change all your links”…
in the end, it meant all my links went to the same place, and that page never existed…
I had to reinstall wordpress
http://www.free-xbox-360.co.uk
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wow..
great tips !!
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Great post! I can not help but to laugh becuase I know MANY bloggers who format posts in MW then copy them over and sit and wonder what the issue is. Not to mention all of the crap code that is copied over!
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Really enjoy the “typical sarcastic style”!
I get the feeling you like reverse engineering. What would you do with all your spare time if people didn’t screw up their blogs, then come to you for help?
Merry Christmas…..
Alex
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I remember when i created all my pages in MS word before i uploaded onto wordpress.
What a mess that was
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I dont like blogs with too many plugins. It always just looks messy.
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Hi Jeff,
I remember after wordpress installed then I tried to click everything on wordpress to check and don’t know which one that caused the mess. Now I know I have to read instruction before doing it. By the way I have a question that how to install Digg on blog?
Thanks
Kha
http://www.khaony.com/blog
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I love wordpress, lots of nice plugins, but don’t turn them all on!
WebMasters, this is your business
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I think the tonnes of mails must have screwed your brains that’s the reason you came up with such sarcastic post but anyways it was a real light hearted post and on reading it I couldn’t stop smiling!!
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I’m pretty sure I’ve done all those hehe
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Another way to screw up your blog is to answer questions asked in the comment section that has absolutely, positively nothing to do with the subject of the post…
Kha, adding Digg can be done many different ways, with social bookmarking plugins like Share This, or actually going to Digg.com getting an account and finding the Digg tools and start reading.
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Yeah this may have come in handy about 3 months ago…. Oh well XD
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Excellent tips, and I have already seen a lot of people follow them.
I think if you took a look at http://www.knrdesigns.com then they could really help you out in the long run.
Good luck!
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I love wordpress, lots of nice plugins
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I totally agree… Core message – keep your blog simple and user friendly and posts interesting and good original content
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“Add or paste as much crap as possible into the themes files.”
I have actually seen a site that had 1 “sidebar” of content followed by 4 bars of ads. It was crazy, yet they are still making almost $8000/week and their alexa is 2.2k!
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And yet, it is amazing how often I run across blogs that manage to do every single one of these. You have to be impressed with that consistency.
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How do you know this? DId they tell you that? How are “they” doing it please enlighten us.
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I agree I dont like my blogs looking all messy either… is there anyway we can avoid this?
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I think this is a wonderful explanation of what not to do with Wordpress. I really enjoyed it
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Great article, thanks for the information. It’s definitely easy to overload WordPress and grind it to a halt.
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i for one is guilty off adding too much plugin. Now my site looks congested. Time for a totally new blog for a new year I guess =D
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You could try changing the permalink structure every now and then as well. That’ll help.
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Oh yeah change the permalinks so all your posts URL’s will be different and all your backlinks will be gone. Good one.
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Love the one about loading up too many wordpress plugins. Having more than 15+ plugins can really bring your site to a screeching halt.
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Great tips thanks. I’m sure that at 1 time or another i have done all of those things.
I suppose you don’t know until your told eh!?
Thanks again.
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Welldone with this tips mate… thank you
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Thanks mate,
All that is extremely helpful. I have done most “in fact all” of the above at one time or another.
Now to get to work putting it right
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I thing that even with lots of plugins there can be a balance if you know how to use them.
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yes loading many plugins does make the website slower.The plugins should be activated only when it is supposed to be used.
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Drive-By comments will be deleted! Like "Thanks for sharing", "Nice post", or any other text that doesn't contribute to the discussion. If you ask a very specific question about your particular WordPress theme's code, it will probably be deleted. I can fix your WordPress site but for a price. If you ask a question like "Why don't my blog work right", it will be deleted. If you ask a question about your WordPress site without a leaving a link to it, it will be deleted. The point is to ask questions and or comment on the the actual content of the post, and to please use some common sense. All comments are moderated. Thank you.